By DEBORAH ALBERT

The mother of the bride plays an integral part at both the wedding and the reception.

“She is the hostess,” said Heidi Ferland, owner of Heidi’s Bridal Boutique in Claremont, NH. The bride’s mother typically greets wedding guests upon their arrival; introduces family members and friends of the bride and groom at the reception; and often oversees the many facets of the ceremony and party.

“She is the second most important woman at the wedding,” said Tania Lewis, manager of Lubiana’s Bridal Shop in Barre, VT, “so she wants to look her very best.”

She also wants to dress appropriately, said Ferland and Lewis, especially as the wedding party will be memorialized in photographs.

Chris Files, owner of Chistine’s Bridal in Hartland Four Corners, VT, adds another important point: the mother of the bride will be wearing her dress for many hours, meeting and greeting, standing in a reception line and perhaps dancing, so she wants to be comfortable. “Not too fussy, not too straight or binding, no style that ‘just isn’t me,’” said Files.

Bridal store personnel agree the task of dressing a mother for her daughter’s wedding is to find a dress in a flattering length, color and style that befits a mature figure. It may include helping her select a short or long dress or separates that she can wear again to a party, an important dinner, a cruise or perhaps another wedding.

The same is true for the mother of the groom. Important questions that bridal shop personnel consider are the time of day of the event, whether the ceremony is indoors or outdoors and the formality of the bride’s dress.

“Fortunately,” said Ferland, “the market today caters to re-usability.” At Heidi’s Bridal Boutique, mothers of the bride can choose from many styles of dresses, materials, lengths and 59 colors, or they may choose to go the separates route, ideal for a figure which requires different sizes for top and bottom.

The advantages of purchasing separate pieces are several, size being one of them. Another is versatility. After the wedding, a woman can wear the top over a different skirt or pair of pants. She can dress up or dress down part of or the entire outfit for a future party.

“You can build your own ensemble this way,” said Ferland, adding the addition of a jacket can lend a different look to an outfit.

Versatility can be achieved with a dress, too. Bridal shop owners can advise customers about long dresses which can later be shortened to wear at a different function. Or, she can choose a jacket that adapts well to other jewelry or a scarf.

Age is a large variable when addressing style and color choice, everyone agreed. A mother of the bride or groom may be in her late 40s or 50s, or a decade or more older. Salespeople can offer advice to a woman of a certain age who may be self-conscious about her figure, particularly her arms and legs. An asymmetrically cut top is ideal to disguise a heavy waist, offering a pretty silhouette, said Ferland.

“A layered skirt is flattering,” said Lewis, whose mother, Lubiana Badeau, has been helping brides and their mothers for 30 years. Lewis, who has been at Lubiana’s Bridal Shop for 15 years, often recommends a pointed jacket that elongates the torso for the mother of the bride.

Women can opt for a long dress, an intermission length (mid-calf) or a tea-length dress. Some dresses are called hi-low, which translates to shorter in front, longer in back, a style which moves well for dancing. Other styles and lengths are handkerchief hemlines and mermaid, which features a tailored and fitted torso that flares out below the knee. A traditional sheath may stop just below the knee at street length.

Different sleeve lengths are available, also. Some women prefer to have their arms covered; others like a three-quarter-length sleeve. A strapless outfit can be worn with a jacket, perfect for the ceremony and air-conditioned reception rooms.

Blue often is a favorite color choice, said Lewis. Periwinkle and cobalt blues are flattering, as are burgundy and brown tones during the fall and winter months. Beiges and off-whites are perennial favorites, too. She said silver and gold shoes are popular now, rather than dyed-to-match dress shoes. Bridal shop personnel said they never discourage any color choice, even black, believing firmly that the choice is the mother’s, often with the recommendation or request of her daughter.

A very popular look today is a pant outfit, such as comfortable, wide palazzo pants made from a variety of materials with an over blouse made from materials such as georgette, chiffon or satin. The top can be very dressy, elaborately laced or beaded, or a simple wrap and sash style.

Often selected is a three-piece outfit: a top, a skirt or suitably styled pants, and a coordinating jacket. The mix-and-match possibilities for future wear are several, adding to the outfit’s versatility. A three-piece outfit may be somewhat more expensive, but its potential future use can make up for that cost factor.

Prices for mother of the bride dresses and outfits vary. Bridal shop owners said there is a range between $175 and $300, or $400 and higher. Factors include workmanship, the materials used and whether one is buying a designer label.

The bride’s dress, and dresses for bridesmaids, determine the formality of the outfit the mother should choose. The bride may request a certain length and color. Next, it is the mother of the bride who determines length of dress and color choice before the mother of the groom.

Two trends today are the themed wedding and the destination wedding. Brides may choose a Victorian, a Vegas or a black-and-white color theme. The mother of the bride will want to conform to the theme, and a bridal shop can help. As for the destination, the mother of the bride should take the wedding’s locale into consideration.

“The biggest mistake for the mother of the bride is to wait until the last month to find a dress,” Files said. While buying off the rack is a possibility at bridal shops, one shouldn’t assume they will find the ideal color, size, style, length and appropriate outfit.

Mothers of the bride and groom should anticipate a three-to four-month lead time, made necessary because fittings likely will be required by an on-site seamstress.

“Mothers of the bride quite naturally put themselves second to the bride,” said Files. Bridal shop owners like Files offer this advice to mothers of the bride: “Don’t neglect yourself.”